Yes No Maybe
by Drowning in Chaos
Summary: There are three things in life that are certain when it comes to high school. 1. You will lose friends. 2. You will have your heart broken. 3. You will survive. Bella is finally at the end, but it seems university is about to be a whole new roller coaster ride. Pack your sick bags for Yes ... No ... Maybe ...
1. Chapter 1

**FAGE 9: The Last Ride**

 **Title: Yes … No … Maybe …**

 **Written for: blueeyedcherry**

 **Written by: Drowning in Chaos**

 **Pairing: Isabella & Edward**

 **Rating: T**

 **Prompts Used:**

 **Prompt 1- Based on the song Far Behind by Candlebox**

 **Prompt 2 – Romantic comedy friends to lovers**

 **Prompt 4 – Romance during summer break in college**

 **If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this exchange visit the facebook group: Fanficaholics Anon: Where Obsession Never Sleeps or add the C2 to get all the stories direct to your inbox.**

 **Community/FAGE-9-The-Last-Ride/93625/**

 **This story has not been beta'd so all mistakes are mine. I hope you are happy with my mish-mash of your prompts blueeyedcherry.**

 **This story will have about 5 chapters I think, and I apologise to blueeyedcherry that I won't have it all up at once. Please enjoy chapter 1.**

 **Yes … No … Maybe …**

 **Get Dressed For A Let Down**

Taking one last look in the mirror, I remember something my mom said to me on my first day of high school.

" _Enjoy today, and every day. Between today and graduation day so much is going to change for you. You'll make friends, you'll lose friends … maybe even have a boyfriend or two. Maybe one of them will break your heart. But don't let any of it break your spirit or stop you from being you. You're strong, unique, and so smart." She steers a stray hair behind my ear and smiles at me with so much love and pride in her eyes._

Breaking away from the memory, I wipe at my eyes. She had only learned of her diagnosis the week before that day and she had fought it so hard, but eleven months was all we got. I was never the same after that, and those words that she spoke rang true in the years following her death.

Now, today, graduation day, here I stand; looking in the mirror of the dressing table she bought me for my eight birthday. I have lost many friends, had my heart broken and gained a friend.

While I wish more than anything that my mother could have been at my graduation, seeing my dad and his new fiancé, Sue, in the crowd, really made my day.

After the ceremony there was talk of an after party, which I had been invited to by association (thanks to my one friend), but I knew there was no way I would be going.

At least that's what I told myself, but Jacob had other ideas.

"Get off your skinny butt. You are coming. We're saying goodbye to that hell hole in style." He throws himself onto my bed, almost bouncing me off of it.

"I hardly call watching underage idiots drink copious amounts of alcohol and vomiting all over each other 'celebrating in style.'" I watch as he rolls onto his stomach and rests his chin in his hands. "Besides, I have my night all planned. I'm spending my night with Dr JD." I smile at him gleefully.

He rolls his eyes dramatically. "UGH! Scrubs again?" He looks back up at me. "As fun as that sounds, I really think you should come … for me?" He flutters his lashes at me. I laugh and shake my head.

"If you loved me you'd come," he continues.

I regard him questioningly. "Why do you want to go so badly? Most of the people there have been nothing but complete bullies to you in the past couple of years, and none of them talk to me anymore. Heck, we're only invited because it's at your cousin's house!" I finish, exasperated.

He shrugs and looks down at his fingernails. My heart hurts looking at his defeated expression. I almost feel bad for my outburst, but why Jacob would want to spend a night with those that have teased him for simply being openly gay is beyond my comprehension.

"I just thought it might be fun is all," he mumbles into his chest and shrugs again. "We don't have to participate, we can just watch everyone else get stupidly drunk and laugh at them." He looks up at me through his lashes.

"Fine, I'll go," I say in defeat. His face lights up and he sits up in excitement. I point at him and give him a hard look. "But only for an hour."

"One hour?" he whines.

"Fine, two. But that's it," I give in.

"Party pooper," he jokes.

"The less time I have to spend around those people, the better," I explain.

"They used to be your friends you know. Just because they picked on me when I came to school, doesn't mean you have to hate them."

"No friend of mine would talk to another person like that. All because of your amazing sense of style. I mean, who picks on someone for that?" I half joke.

"Jealous people, that's who," Jacob plays into my joke. "Speaking of style, what are you going to wear tonight?" he asks excitedly.

"Clothes," I reply flatly.

He quirks an eyebrow at me and I laugh, throwing my hands in the air. "Fine, you can dress me. Just no scarves or crazy hats. I can't pull off that stuff like you do."

"Deal."

He doesn't waste a minute and is in my closet before I can say "Or high heels!" While I only had one pair of high heels in there, courtesy of Sue, I knew they would be the first thing he picked out.

Instead he pulls out a dress I almost forgot I had. I bite my bottom lip as he admires it and then holds it up to me.

"That's my mom's," I say quietly.

It's a red 50's style vintage dress. One of my favourites, but one I've never worn outside of my bedroom. I haven't tried it on in about two years though and it was still a bit too big then.

I shake my head, and I'm about to tell him that it's too big when he cuts in.

"Please just try it on? I want to see it on."

I begrudgingly get off the bed and wait until he turns around before switching my shorts and tee for the dress. The zip is on the side and a little too awkward for me to do up all on my own. "I need help."

Jacob turns and gasps. "Woah!" he exclaims before walking over and helping with the zip. "That's the fucking dress you're wearing tonight." He takes a step back and motions for me to follow and stand in front of the mirror.

I'm surprised by what I see. The dress fits perfectly. It hugs my curves and stops just short of my knees. I explain that I don't have shoes to go with it, but Jacob will have none of my excuses.

Two hours later, with thanks to Jacob and Sue, I have black strappy shoes with a low heel, a splattering of make-up, and my hair has been blow dried, curled, and styled. Jacob has run home to get dressed and now he's back to suffer through a fifteen-minute lecture from my dad about the dangers of underage drinking and saying no to drugs.

"And remember that you can call me. Any time. You don't have to tell me what happened, you can just call me."

"We'll be home in an hour, dad." I roll my eyes at his speech.

"Two," Jacob corrects me.

Dad purses his lips together and gives me a worried look, before smiling and standing up to walk us to the door. "Alright, kids, you have fun."

 **NB: Chapter two coming up soon! Chapter three is a couple of days away. Sorry! Please let me know what you think! Apologies for all the mistakes, DoC x**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Get Down**

It's just after nine when we arrive, and the party has barely begun. Jacob and I walk in awkwardly and find his cousin, Sam. While Sam graduated the year before us, he still had friends in our year and his house was always the party house. It was a given that this year's bash would be here.

Sam greets us quickly and then moves onto the next group of people that have walked through the door. Jacob and I look at each other and shrug. We decide to make our way to the back yard and look for a spot to people watch. In the far back corner, under the cloak of darkness, we find a love seat swing and we figure this is the perfect spot to see everything that's going on without people seeing us.

For the first half hour it's all we do. We watch and we commentate. We debate whether Kate is wearing underwear under her very tight dress. We discuss the fact that Leah seems to have grown breasts almost overnight and wonder if they're chicken fillets or tissues. I say tissues, but Jacob says chicken fillets because they're much too smooth and rounded. He might be right.

We watch as Jessica openly flirts with Mike, but his attention is on the new girl, Vicky, who he's watching out the corner of his eye.

Angela has even shown up with Eric which stirs controversy throughout the whole party. People whisper as they walk past, some even shake their heads and openly mouth 'what the fuck.'

"Now _that_ is interesting," Jacob says excitedly, moving to sit on the edge of his seat.

"I feel sorry for her," I mumble quietly.

Jacob looks at me with a quirked brow. "You can't spend your whole life feeling sorry for stupid people, honey. If she wants to be with a man that sleeps with a teacher and gets her pregnant then that's her circus," he says with a flamboyant flick of his hand before turning back to watch the drama ahead of us.

"Boy," I correct him. You can hardly call baby-faced Eric a man. Which makes it even more disgusting to think that Mrs Harris would think about sleeping with him. "I just think she's blindly in love and doesn't know any better," I explain.

"Well then she'll learn the hard way," he says matter-of-factly.

I silently agree and turn my attention back to the couple. Angela looks around her meekly, while Eric almost seems smug at the attention he's getting. He leads her to a keg, fills a cup up for them each and hands one to her. She takes it, but doesn't take a sip.

"I need to go to the toilet," I announce and move to get up.

"Thanks for sharing," Jacob quips. "Bring some food back," he adds as I walk off.

The place has gotten packed in the last half hour, and most people are busy in their own conversations, but I can still feel eyes on me. I do my best to ignore them and make my way to the downstairs toilet. There is a line and I sigh in frustration.

 _Why did I leave it too late?_ I feel like my bladder could burst at any second.

"Is this the line to the toilet," A deep voice says from behind me.

"Yep," I say as I jiggle a bit and turn around.

I'm surprised when I turn to see Edward Cullen and he seems to do a double take when he looks at me, before glancing down to the front of the line. He clenches his jaw and looks back at me momentarily before taking my hand.

"C'mon," he whispers, leading me away quickly.

When I see where he's heading I pull my hand back a little, but give up when I see he has a firm grip on it. "We're not allowed up there," I remind him, pointing to the 'caution, do not enter' ribbon Sam has taped up at the bottom of the stairs.

His only reply is to pull me toward the stairs, but I stop and my hand slips out of his as he climbs over the ribbon. He stalls and turns to me, "How desperately do you need to go? Because it looks pretty bad to me," he says pointedly at my involuntary jiggling.

He holds his hand out again, and although I'm quite capable of climbing over the ribbon and walking up the stairs myself, I take it. At the top of the stairs he takes a sharp left and then a right into a small corridor that has a door at the end. He drops my hand and gestures to the door.

"You first."

I don't wait another second. The relief is phenomenal and it is only when I'm cleaning myself up that I remember just how close Edward is and realise that Edward Cullen just heard me pee. I wash my hands in the small basin by the door and look at myself in the mirror.

"You fool, Bella. Why didn't you run the water before going?" I whisper to myself. I hurriedly dry my hands and open the door.

Edward is standing with a giant smirk on his face. I realise that he's also heard me talking to myself, but he doesn't rub it in, nor mention it at all. Instead he asks me to wait for him. I don't know what to say, so he continues to explain himself. "I want to ask you something."

I can only nod in reply. Once the door is shut I hear the tap running and I can't help the little laugh that escapes me. My mind wonders in the full minute that he's in there, but it's not enough time to come to a conclusion about what his question would be.

He leans again the wall across from me. "You're going to SU, yeah?"

I don't know what I expected his question to be, but this is not it.

"Yeah."

He nods and looks down momentarily, seeming hesitant to continue.

"Me too," he finally replies.

"I thought you were going to – "

"Changed my mind," he cuts me off.

"Oh." I look down at the grey carpet under my feet. I'm not sure what else to say and I'm still not quite sure what his question is, or if that was it.

"So, what is it you're doing again?" he asks tentatively.

"Law." I look back up at him to see him watching me. He smiles at me and chuckles. "What?" I suddenly feel defensive.

"Nothing." He shakes his head. "It's just … if I ever need a lawyer in a few years' time, I'm definitely looking you up."

"Why is that?" I want to eat my words the moment they come out. I sound like I'm fishing for compliments.

"Because you're smart, and you don't take shit from no one." He chuckles again.

I smile and try my best to sound casual. "Are you planning to need a lawyer in a few years?"

"Not if I can help it," he laughs. "But you know me." He gives me a lopsided smile and opens his mouth to say something else but he's cut off by a commotion down stairs.

We both look at each other, eyes wide, and then rush downstairs. At the bottom of the stairwell Edward puts his arm out to keep me behind him. Before us is a mass group of people and it takes me a while to work out what's going on. From my vantage point on the bottom step, I can see that in the middle of the crowd is Mike and James. They're arguing over Vicky, yet she's nowhere to be seen. It's all insults and words until James throws a spectacular punch. The sound of it connecting with Mike's face can be heard over the music and the whole crowd roars.

Edward turns to me quickly, making a motion for me to stay. I nod at him and watch as he flies through the crowd, and reaches James and Mike almost at the same time as Sam. They split the fight up, each holding one back. Mike looks like a struggling terrier dog, calling out insults and kicking his legs out as Edward drags him out effortlessly from behind. As I watch him drag Mike toward the kitchen my eyes catch those of Jacob's, who's standing at the edge of the crowd with a raised eyebrow.

I make my way through the crowd to him, grab a bowl of cheese and bacon balls, and grab his hand to lead him back out to our watching post.

Once we have sunken back into our seat, Jacob grabs a handful of balls and shoves them in his gob. He doesn't have to say a thing and he knows it. The unspoken question goes unanswered until I've swallowed my own mouthful.

"I needed to go to the toilet and so did he. He suggested we skip the line and head to the one upstairs," I explain.

"Mmhmm."

We eat another mouthful each and watch as the crowd slowly disperses and people begin to split into their groups and talk about what they've just witnessed. I turn to Jacob, who reads my facial expression and turns into me with interest.

"So, turns out he's going to SU, too."

"What!"

I have Jacob's full attention and I feel a sudden thrill at holding news that he doesn't know.

"I know; I was as surprised as you."

"So, what's he doing there? I thought he had a scholarship?"

I think for a moment and realise that I don't know, because I didn't ask him. I was too busy fishing for compliments … and then the fight happened.

"I don't know, he didn't say. Hey, so what the hell? Mike and James?" I change the subject.

"So, apparently James and Vicky have been seeing each other for months, and Mike tried to make a move on her and James found out and, well, you saw the rest."

"James and Vicky?" I ask, shocked.

Now it's Jacob's turn to be high on being in the know.

"Yep." He nods his head. "Turns out they met when her car broke down on the highway and he stopped to help her. It's the stuff of fairy tales," he says rather dramatically.

"Or nightmares," I scoff.

"True." He sits back from the edge of his seat. "She's a bit of a vampire."

"Vampire?"

"You know, aaaaksh." Jacob bares his teeth and makes his hands into claws while making a vampire like sound.

I laugh at his ridiculousness but agree that Vicky is very much like that.

"So was Edward asking to be roommates?" He asks, casually changing the subject back.

"No, but he did say if he needs a lawyer in a few years, I'd be his top pick." I fill my mouth with bacon and cheese balls to stop myself from saying anything more.

"Did he say why?" Jacob pushes.

I motion to all of me "Have you seen me?" I joke.

Jacob makes a noise of agreement and goes back to people watching. His expression instantly goes to one of confusion and I follow his gaze.

My stomach twists a little at the sight before me and I do my best to swallow the weird emotion building up from my chest.

"Did he lose something in there?"

Edward is kissing some blonde girl; a girl that, I'm pretty sure, is a year or two down from us. It's a horrid, sloppy type of kiss. They are taking it in turns to shove their tongues down each other's throat. I cringe and reach for another handful of food, but think better of it and put it back.

"His dignity?" I suggest.

Jacob laughs and then nudges me. "You're not upset about that?"

I glance over at him. "We're talking about the guy who was my first kiss and then dumped me the day after my mother died. This is classic Edward Cullen. Tomorrow, this poor girl will be flicked out of his life, like a piece of dirt on his shoe." I turn back and try to look elsewhere, but I can't tear my eyes away from their horrific display of drunken affection.

"To be fair, he didn't know your mother had died – UGH!"

We have just witnessed Edward licking this girl's face like a puppy dog before continuing on, shoving his tongue down her throat once more.

"Yeah, I think I've seen enough for one night. Home time," I declare.

After dropping Jacob off home, I spend five minutes assuring my dad that I didn't drink or do drugs before changing into my PJ's and falling into bed.

I dream of Edward and I talking in the hallway, only this time he's telling me what it is he's going to be doing at SU. "Smooth transitioning one oh one," he says with a hiccup. I'm about to ask him what that is, when suddenly he turns into a frog, sticks his tongue down my throat and pulls out a fly.

I awake with a start and see that my phone is flashing. It's a text from a strange number.

 _Red suits u. U shld wear it more often. Loved seeing you last night E x_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter III: Another Fork in The Road**

"Another beautiful summer in Forks," Jacob quips, before he steps away from my bedroom window and flops onto my bed.

As if to purposefully mock him back, the rain picks up speed, changing from a quiet pitter patter into a ferocious roar.

"At least the rain doesn't desert me." I pout dramatically.

Jacob looks at me with raised brows. "This again?"

"Well, this was meant to be our last summer together."

While I have known for a while that this day was coming, now that it is here, I realise I am not ready. Tomorrow, Jacob will be leaving me to start his future as a fashion designer in New York. Leaving me to live out the last of the summer on my own before I trek to Seattle to start my own future in commercial law.

"This, this is not summer, in the normal sense of the word," he thumbs in the direction of the grey sky beyond my window, "and you could always come to New York for a week or two?" he reminds me.

"Yes, I know, but my money tree is bare." I pout again. "Are you nervous?"

"A little, but I can't wait to get out of this fucking town." His eyes meet mine and his smile turns into a frown. "But I'll miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you too. Seriously, what am I going to do this summer without you?"

"The same thing we do every night Pinky, try to take over the world."

Our laughter is interrupted by dad knocking on the door.

"Come in!" I call out.

"You guys ready to go? That steak ain't going to eat itself." He rubs his hands together gleefully and licks his lips.

We both scramble off the bed and I collect my purse and phone before making our way to the car. The drive to the restaurant is spent listening to Jacob answering all of dad's questions about his plans for New York. My stomach churns as the minute's tick by. Each minute bringing me closer and closer to loneliness. Soon enough, Jacob will be on his flight, and I'll be left in Forks with no spark to light my days the way he does.

At the restaurant, his parents and older sister, Rachael, are already at the table. We have barely sat down when a waitress appears and asks us what we would like to drink. Dad raises a questioning eyebrow at me and I nod, letting him know that I will drive home, and he smiles widely as he orders his beer.

Minutes later Jacob leans over and mumbles under his breath. "Don't look now, but queen of Gossips R Us is about to deliver our drinks."

I groan as I look up to see Kate approaching us with a toothy fake smile.

"Hi guys!" she screeches, making me cringe.

"Iz! I saw you at Sam's party the other night! I almost didn't recognise you without your hoody on."

I must give her credit where credit is due. The girl is talking flat out while placing everyone's drinks down in the correct spot. She has not missed a beat.

"It looked like you caught Edward Cullen's eye too, I mean, even though he then spent the next hour swapping saliva with Brittany whats-her-face … Jones! Brittany Jones, that's right! Oh my god! Did you hear about Edward giving up his scholarship because – oh shoot they forgot your cola Rachael! Darn, I'm sorry, I'll just go get that!" With that, she flips the tray under her arm, turns on her heel and disappears.

Silence has fallen around the table and I notice that everyone is looking at me.

"Awkward," Jacob fake coughs, before taking a sip of his drink.

"So, Charlie, Mr Johns said you might be closing in on the people that broke into his shop last month?" Rachael breaks the silence, thankfully tearing away everyone's attention from me.

Conversation around the table becomes more constant and louder as Jacob's aunty, uncle and cousins join the table. I answer questions pointed at me, but I don't actively join in. My mind is preoccupied with what Kate was saying before she interrupted herself. Since it was a different waitress that brought out the rest of the drinks, we haven't heard the rest of her sentence and it's irritating me more than it should.

"I wonder why Eddie gave up his scholarship?" Jacob yell-whispers in my ear, as if sensing where my thoughts are at.

"His dad has dementia. Like, _real_ bad. Apparently, he can't even remember his own name half the time."

Kate has suddenly appeared behind us and Jacob pulls away from me in fright at the sound of her voice. I look up at her and she's smiling down at us rather smugly. It's almost as if she's proud to be privy to such information. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I look back to the table, but they're all too preoccupied with their conversation to hear what's been said. Well, all except one. Sam is looking right at us, his lips a thin line of disapproval.

The rest of the night becomes a blur of activity. Dinner is ordered, as are more drinks. The topic of conversation switches more times than I care to acknowledge. I vaguely remember Sam eyeing me some more as though I were the one spreading rumours about Edward; one of his closest friends. Or maybe he's warning me not to repeat what I've just heard. I'm not sure.

At the end of the night my head is too full of thoughts to give Jacob a proper goodbye. I tell him instead that I'll meet him at his place in the morning before he heads off to the airport.

Once I am home I google dementia. There's no way he has dementia, I think to myself. Dementia is what old people get. After watching some videos and reading some information on early onset dementia I realise that what Kate said could very well be true. There is such a thing as early onset dementia. There are countless stories and videos of people sharing what it's like to slowly watch their loved one become a shell of themselves. The pit of my stomach clenches and twists. I switch off my laptop and have a shower to wash away the depressive thoughts that have overcome me. Sleep doesn't come easily.

In the morning, after a horrible dream in which it was raining frogs, I am up and at Jacob's earlier than I had planned. I needn't have worried though, because Jacob is up and hauling a large suitcase out the door before I even reach it.

He feigns a scream and then halts to look me over. "Do you even own a brush? I mean, I know you do because I've seen it, but did it break or something?"

I pat down my fluffy hair. "Shut-up, I washed it and I couldn't be bothered straightening it," I explain in an off-handed way, before pointing to his bulging suitcase. "Anyone would think you were leaving for good."

"I am." He drags it behind him some more and huffs out in frustration when one of the wheels catch on the pavement. "Fork you Forks, and fork this stupid suitcase," he growls out in anger.

I help him tug it over the crack in the driveway and then lift it into his dad's truck.

"Like forever?" I ask, feeling my throat tighten.

Jacob looks at me, a little confused until he works out what my question is about.

"You and I both know I was never going to live in Forks forever. Besides, we both know you'll be coming to live with me. One bad ass lawyer and her personal stylist. We will take over New York City." His hands move around as he talks, his face is alight with wonder as his imagination takes over.

While I doubt that I will ever move to New York, he looks so excited at the prospect that I simply laugh in agreement. I do my best to be happy for Jacob as I help him pack the rest of his stuff and listen to him talk about what he plans to do in his first few weeks there, before school starts. I am excited for him, but at the same time, I'm sad for us. My heart hurts knowing that this will be the last time we'll be together as we are now. The next time we see each other we'll have new people in our lives, be on different paths, and it just won't be the same.

When it comes time to say goodbye I hug him tightly and blink away my tears. My smile is fake and he's not fooled.

"I'll see you soon, okay," he reassures me.

I smile and nod. "Have a blast. See you soon."

I watch his dad's car until I can no longer see it. Then I hop in my car and drive home, letting my tears fall.

 **NB: Sorry it took so long to update. Hopefully there's still interest in this story. Sorry to the receiver of this story especially. New chapter sooner than it took to get this one up.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter IV: Steak and Flowers**

It's been three hours since Jacob has left and I've barely moved from the couch, except to pee. Dad has offered me lunch twice, but I just don't feel hungry.

"You have to get out of the house some time, ya know."

I turn my head and look at dad. He has a wry smile on his face which is tainted with ketchup.

"You got something," I point it out.

He wipes it away, but then pushes on with the subject. "Why don't you call Jessica? See what she's doing? She was a nice girl, I thought you guys were friends, but then Jacob came along and we never saw her again."

"Jessica?" I scoff. "Nice? She wasn't so nice when she was …" I stall.

"What?" he pushes some more.

His eyes search mine and I can see that he's genuinely concerned and curious to know what it is Jessica had done. I figure he doesn't need to know. Besides, it was years ago, and that is exactly what his reasoning will be if I do tell him.

"You know what, it doesn't matter. Look, I might call Jessica, just not today, dad, okay? My best friend has left me to start his new life and I'm weeks away from mine. Just give me today," I reason.

He nods in understanding and pats my hand. "Alright, love, but tonight, we are going to the diner."

"Again?" I whine.

"It's steak night," he points out.

I roll my eyes and move to head upstairs. "S'pose I better do something with this hair then," I mumble.

Dinner is hours away, so instead I play some candy crush and send Jacob a curtesy 'hope the flight was good' message. While in my messages, I can't help but scroll down to the text from Edward. I read the last line over, and over again.

 _Loved seeing you last night. E x_

I question why, if he loved seeing me so much, did he stick his tongue down someone's throat minutes after we were together? Why, after all these years, is he talking to me again? I've had nothing to do with him in almost four years, and, apart from attending the same school, we have had no relationship since he broke up with me in freshman year. While I was grieving for my mother no less. And by text I might add.

All we did was share a toilet. Why am I so stupidly obsessed with his text message? Most importantly, why do I care?

Pushing Edward out of my mind, I throw my phone down onto my bed in frustration, and head to the bathroom. While waiting for my hair straightener to heat up I decide to freshen up my face with some tinted moisturiser and lip gloss. I inspect my reflection and decide to add some blush to my cheeks, too.

As I straighten my hair, my mind wanders to the conversation Edward and I shared, and it hits me. As much as I'd like to forget any small moment of my past with Edward in it, I can't ever really get away from him. Not only do we live in the same small town, but now we're both going to the same university. As big as SeattleU is, I don't think I'll be able to get through four years of schooling without crossing paths with him.

Once my hair is straightened, I pack everything away and move back to my bedroom. I turn on my laptop and go back through my emails from SeattleU. The start date seems so far away and I sigh heavily, thinking about what I'm going to do between now and then, besides work.

"Damn Jacob and his fabulous new life," I think out loud.

"Are you working tomorrow?" Sue asks between bites of her dinner.

The diner is busy and I find myself having to almost yell my reply. "Yeah, open until close tomorrow. Maria has a wedding coming up and has a rather large order to organise."

"Someone from here? I haven't published any wedding notices lately."

I shake my head and try my best to chew faster and swallow before answering. "No, they're from Seattle, but their family have a house in Beaver, by Lake Pleasant, so they're getting married there," I explain.

Her eyes light up. "Oh! Nice! Lake Pleasant is lovely."

I nod in agreement and look over to see dad is watching us both with a smile. I know he's thinking some deep thoughts, so when his eyes widen slightly at being caught in them, I smile and look away. My eyes catch those of Sam, who's sitting with a group of people from school. He nods in acknowledgement, but is interrupted by a new group of newcomers, one of which is Edward.

There's an awkward moment where our eyes meet and he seems just as shocked to see me as I am to see him. Neither of us are sure how to acknowledge the other so I hastily give a small wave and then look down at my plate. I feel instant regret and embarrassment.

 _Why the hell did I wave?_

I shake my head to dispel my thoughts and glance up to see that the whole moment has not gone unnoticed. Both Dad and Sue are watching me with intrigue. I swiftly redirect their attention, letting Sue know that Angela just entered, and suggest that maybe she should ask her for that interview about her recent fundraiser for the pet rescue in Port Angeles. Thankfully, Sue agrees and her attention has been successfully diverted. Dad on the other hand …

Angela is talked into sitting down with us and I listen in as she tells Sue the basics of her fundraiser and they agree to meet up here tomorrow for lunch. I'm stunned when Angela suggest that I come too, during my lunch break, so we can catch up. While Angela is one of the nicer people at school, she still hangs with the old group I grew apart from, so we've not had much to do with each other these last few years.

The following morning, I am at work fifteen minutes early and see that Maria has already been and has done up a few pre-ordered bouquets. She would have left at dawn to make it to the wholesale flower market in Seattle. There's a handwritten note of things she would like me to do, with a reminder that her husband will be in to relieve me for lunch at twelve.

The morning is quiet, but I am kept busy with mundane tasks, such as dusting and ordering new cards. By the time Maria's husband, Hugo, has come in, I have a few premade bouquets done and placed out the front of the shop, in case he has a few sales while I'm gone.

I decide that I will spend lunch with Sue and Angela and I find myself surprisingly enjoying it. Angela is doing amazing things for the animal shelter and it reminds me just how nice she is. It makes me wonder again, why she's still with Eric. As soon as I finish my lunch, I explain that I must get back to work. After paying for my meal, I run out the door while waving to Angela, and promptly slam into someone's chest.

"Oof." The voice belonging to the chest cries out.

"Shit, I'm so … sorry," I finish quickly as I stare up into Edward's eyes. He looks especially rugged today and my eyes go straight to his head of bed hair.

He shakes his head and gives a lopsided grin. "In a rush?"

"Um, yeah, work," I explain in a rushed tone.

He gives a nod and steps out of the way, motioning for me to move past him. I thank him and spend the two-minute walk back to work berating myself. I can't believe I just ran, full pelt, into Edward like that.

"You just missed a gentleman who was asking of you," Hugo informs me as soon as I enter the shop.

"I did?" I try desperately to think of any regular customers who would come in and ask specifically for me.

"Hmm. He said he'd come back later." Hugo shuffles out from behind the counter and heads to the office to get his keys. I hear him mumble something about a boy needing to take a shower and I shake my head at him in amusement.

Once Hugo has left I keep busy by writing up Monday's order and I don't notice that someone is in the shop until I see them in my peripheral standing at the counter.

"Sorry! I was just busy …" I look up and see Edward, who looks a little hesitant. "Oh, hey!"

"Hey." He gives a little lopsided grin and then looks away nervously. "Ah, I, uh, I came in earlier, but you were at lunch."

"And then I bowled into you. Sorry about that." I point at his chest with my pen and then instinctively put it to my mouth.

He chuckles and flips his hand dismissively. "It's okay."

"So, you wanted to see me?" I silently hope that he's not about to ask me to help him pick out flowers for the girl he was sucking face with the other night.

"Oh, right, yeah, um, I was hoping … well, I guess you heard about my dad?"

I don't know what to say. I feel like a deer caught in headlights. Is it okay that I know? I feel like I learnt about it in the shittiest way possible. I figure the safest thing to do is just nod, so I do.

"Right, well, mom's birthday is the week after we start at SU, and I wanted to see if it's possible to pre-order something to have sent on that day. You know, just in case dad forgets."

My heart lurches. I've never known Edward to be the kind that would buy his mom flowers. I grab a pad of post-its and walk to the other side of the counter.

"What does she like?" I ask, poised to write it down.

Edward looks perplexed and I can't help but giggle at how out of his depth he looks.

"Okay, let's go with what's her favourite colour?"

"Oh, okay, this I know. Her favourite colour is purple."

"Okay, that's good, we can work with that. Maybe some lisianthus and aster, some freesia, too, would look good." I write them all down and look up to see him watching me with a smile that basically says, 'what language are you speaking?'

"Sorry!" I laugh. "Here, come with me." I take him around the shop and show him what flowers we have or can get in purple.

Surprisingly he takes his time and picks some out that he thinks she would really love. I explain that I'll throw in some other colours to soften it out and add some foliage.

"Hey, so, er, what dorm are you staying in?" He asks, dismissing all my talk about flowers.

"Um, Campion. You?"

 _Please don't be Campion._

"Same." Judging by his smile, he's obviously not bothered by this turn of events.

I try my best to smile back, but I think it comes out as more of a grimace.

"Cool, so uh, that'll be fifty dollars." His brows are furrowed in confusion. "For the bouquet," I explain.

"Oh, right."

Once he has paid, Edward doesn't stick around, and I'm left with a head full of thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter V: Bullshit Is My Least Favourite Colour**

A whole week has passed since Jacob moved away and we've only corresponded via text a handful of times. I am trying hard not to take it personally. I know he's busy settling in and all, but my insides still churn as I re-read the last text I received this morning.

 _Sorry I missed your call. Am busy, will call back later. Xx_

I groan loudly at my pathetic neediness and fling my phone onto my bed. I am just about to leave my room to go do my laundry, when it rings. I race to it and smile when I see Jacob's name on the screen.

"Hey!" I answer excitedly.

"Iz, you would not believe what just happened to me."

His voice sounds more feminine than usual and I pull my phone back to make sure it is Jacob's name on the screen. Seeing that it is, I put it back to my ear and shake my head. "What happened?"

I'm thrown into a very long story about how he's spent the past week getting to know some of the people that will be in his course. Among this group is a guy called Laurent, who is apparently bisexual. Jacob had just built up the courage to ask the guy out, when a girl called Lauren beat him to it.

I'm kind of amazed that so much has happened to him in the short week that has passed. I begin to realise that I have nothing to tell him that's nearly as exciting as this. All I've done this week is watch Scrubs reruns, and work. Well, there is the story about how Edward bought flowers from me, but that's nothing really. It's been a week since, and I've not even heard from him, so I wouldn't consider it newsworthy.

"You should ask him out anyway," I decide to focus my attention back on the conversation. "He probably only said yes to her to be polite. He'll see the error of his ways when he realises their portmanteau will simply be Lauren. Jacent sounds much more … well … different." I pause momentarily, and wonder where I'm going with this. I can sense his confusion too. "You're in New York, you only live once. Fuck it. Just do it." I conclude.

There's silence on the other end and, I'm just about to check to see if he's on the line still, when I hear his reply.

"Fuck it. You're right! I'm gonna do it!"

I smile into the phone, excitement bubbling up inside of me. My friend is going to finally ask a guy out. His first time! And I'm not going to be there when he does it. This realisation brings me back down to earth.

"Wish I was there," I blurt out.

"Me too, but I'll keep you updated. New York is amazing, Iz. You'd love it here."

I hum in agreement, but I don't really agree with him. The Pacific Northwest will always be my home. The concrete jungle of NYC has nothing on the real thing we have here.

"Hey, Iz, I'm really sorry, but I gotta go. I'm running late for lunch with Paul."

"That's cool. Hey, how is Paul?"

Paul is another of Jacob's cousins, when his parents kicked him out of home, he lived with their uncle in Forks, and came to our school for about six months.

He was part of the reason Jacob chose New York to apply for school. Paul was now living there, and a very successful producer for Wolf Pack Music. He was living the high life that Jacob wanted.

"He's good. He flies out to Texas tomorrow for a few days so he wants to catch up for lunch today. Something about making sure I know all the house rules."

I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's just rolled his eyes, and I laugh at the vision.

"What could you possibly get up to in a few days – never mind, forget I asked that."

He laughs. "Have you forgotten who I am and what I'm capable of?" he jokes.

I shake my head vehemently, even though I know he can't see me. "Only for a second. It won't happen again. I'll let you go, but I want an update soon okay?"

"I'll ring you tonight and tell you all about it. Love you!"

"Love you too."

The very second the phone call ends, there's a knock at the door. I jump a little and turn on my heel. "Come in."

Sue pops her head in and smiles at me. "Want to come with me to Port Angeles? I'm going to meet Angela at the animal shelter. We might get to cuddle some puppies," she adds on, trying to tempt me.

"You had me at puppies." I place my hand on my heart dramatically.

"But that was at the end," she teases.

The drive to Port Angeles is spent listening to the golden oldies radio station and singing as loudly as we can, seeing who can sing it out of tune the most. I think it's fair to say that it was a tie.

The Animal shelter is in a commercial area and parking is easy to find. We find Angela waiting for us at the front desk and she leads us through to the back kennels, where nearly every one of them has a dog in it. I can't help the noises of admiration and sadness from escaping me. I want to scoop them all up and take them home. Angela explains that they are the hardest ones to find homes for because people always want little puppies that they can train, not a dog that has issues and needs retraining.

I stop and pet the noses of a couple before following her back toward the main building, where they house the cats. I'm amazed by how many cats there are compared to dogs.

"It's these guys we really want to find homes for next weekend at the fundraiser," she explains. "We currently have thirty-nine cats. We're nearly at capacity and we have more coming in every day."

I have never thought myself as a cat person, but when she leads us into one of the rooms and two cats start rubbing up against me, I can't help but pick one up and snuggle it.

"How do you stop yourself from taking them all home?" I ask, as I scratch the black and white cat under the chin and listen to his contented purr.

"I have five cats, three dogs and three rabbits. My parents have said no more," she laughs.

"Wow. Okay." Is all I can muster. That's a lot of animals.

Our next stop is the puppy room and I lose my mind when I see a brown puppy with bright blue eyes. I scoop him up and laugh when he excitedly licks my face.

"That's Toby. His mother got hit by a car when she was pregnant. He was the sole survivor. He was hand fed by one of the volunteers here. And now he's back here waiting for a forever home."

She gives Toby a scratch on the head and then picks up a fluffball of a puppy that's scratching at her legs.

"And this is Oscar. Oscar is going to see the vet today, he will decide if Oscar needs his leg amputated or not. It hasn't worked properly since he was born. All of his siblings have been adopted, but he's still waiting."

I listen in as Sue asks a few more questions and Angela answers them earnestly, while Sue writes down the answers. Because the last fundraiser was cancelled due to bad weather, Sue has decided to do a two-page spread on the shelter in this week's paper, hoping it will garner more interest and get them more adoptions for the rescheduled one next week. When it's time to go, I give Toby one last cuddle and follow them out to the front doors.

"Hey, so I know this is kind of late notice, but I'm going to Jim's later for dinner, they have some live acts on tonight. I was hoping you'd come with?" Angela looks at me eagerly.

I look to Sue, who raises an eyebrow, and then back to Angela.

"Erm, I didn't bring any clothes to change into." I look down at my jeans and tee, wondering if this is even a legitimate excuse or if I'm just trying to get out of it. I realise it's the latter and try to think of something else. "Plus Sue drove … so …"

"What you're wearing is fine, and I'll drive you home later. But if you don't want to come …"

She can smell the bullshit I'm draped in and the ball is now firmly in my court. I look once more to Sue, but she's no help.

"Uh, yeah, okay, cool. I mean, if that's okay with you?" I turn to Sue, to see her smiling at me.

"Fine with me. See you later, ladies. Thanks for the tour, Angela." And with that, she is gone.

I get a distinct feeling that Sue wanted to get rid of me. I guess I have been kind of moping around the house a bit lately, but did she have to palm me off so quickly?

The good thing is that dinner is still a couple of hours away, so I get to spend another hour playing with animals before Angela decides we should go and make sure we can get a table at Jim's Diner.

Jim's is an old fifties style diner, with tacky car seat booths – which is where Angela leads me to sit – and retro décor. On weekends there's usually a country singer or two playing to the crowd and tonight it's a guy/girl duo. I am trying to figure out whether they're siblings or a couple, when I hear Angela's excited voice.

"You guys came early too!"

I look up to see Sam, Jessica and Eric.

"Yeah, we wanted to make sure we'd get a table, but looks like you already beat us to it. Hey Izzy," Sam adds as he plonks himself next to Eric, who has now slid in next to Angela.

"Hey," I reply dryly, feeling somewhat stunned to see them all here. I look up to see Jessica hesitating by the table. I furrow my brow at her, unsure of why she's here and suddenly feeling like an intruder. My confusion turns to dread when I see Edward approach the table behind Jessica.

He stops short when he notices me and for a moment, time stands still. The noisy diner fades into the background. It's just me, him, and the bitch that swooped on him the very second he broke up with me all those years ago. She was supposed to be my friend, but she did a stellar job of proving me wrong.

I feel a warm body slide in beside me and the sounds of the diner come back into focus. I look beside me to see Sam, who's wearing a rather grim smile. Edward quickly slides in next to Sam and Jessica is left to sit next to Eric, which she does so begrudgingly.

The table is silent. The tension in the air is almost palpable. I am an unwelcomed guest. This is a planned outing and I have just planted myself in amongst it. I glare at Angela, and feel my stomach drop when, instead of looking apologetic, she smiles widely at me. She planned this. She called me on my bullshit and brought me here knowing that they were going to be here, too. The only thing I can't work out is, why?


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter VI: This Ain't No Kissing Booth**

"So, Sue and Izzy just came and spent some time at the shelter. They're doing a write up for the fundraiser next week. Isn't that cool?" Angela asks brightly.

The table is still silent, and I curse internally at Angela for bringing more attention to the fact that I'm sitting here.

"So cool," Eric says in a rather sleazy manner, before nuzzling Angela's neck.

I look around the table to see if anyone else is as grossed out as I am. Turns out I'm not alone in this.

"Ewe, gross, this isn't a make out booth!" Jessica cries out.

"Sorry, baby, seems we sat in a no kissing booth. Looks like you and me will have to make out later."

I look over to see Sam jokingly stroking Edward's cheek.

"That's a real shame," Edward replies, stroking Sam's cheek in return.

The table erupts into laughter and, just like that, the tension is broken.

Sam leans onto the table and turns his head to me. "Heard from Jacob?"

"Um, yeah, just today actually. He was on his way out to lunch with Paul. Something about a meeting regarding house rules," I divulge.

Sam throws his head back and laughs. "I'm surprised he's lasted the week." I look at him, my brows furrowed in confusion. "Paul's a neat freak," he explains, "and Jacob is … well, Jacob is – "

"Eccentric?" I offer up.

"That's one word for it," he agrees with a chuckle.

I nod in understanding. Jacob is very good at leaving chaos behind him wherever he goes, but he has fun doing it.

"Anyone want a drink?" I hear Edward offer.

"Yeah, I might come with." Sam slides out after Edward and turns to me. "Izzy?"

"Um, yeah, just a coke please." I reach into my bag for my purse, but when I look up he's gone, and so is Edward.

I suddenly feel very uncomfortable and I do my best to avoid looking across the table. I watch the duo that are playing on the small stage and, again, wonder if they're a couple or not. A whole song has played out entirely before the boys return with drinks. I balk when, instead of Sam sliding in next to me, Edward takes his spot and hands me my drink.

"Thanks," I say shyly, before taking a sip.

"Sure."

The heat coming from him is tangible. The warmth envelopes me, and sinks in, to sit in the pit of my stomach. I instinctively take my jacket off, which proves hard to do in such a confined space, and I apologise when I nudge him in the ribs.

"I've had worse," he jokes, as he slides the sleeves of his t-shirt up his arms.

I look up at him with a smile and instantly look away when our eyes lock. My insides twist and the heat within picks up a notch. I take another sip of my drink to try and help me cool down a bit. I look across the table to see if anyone else has noticed what my internals are doing. Angela and Eric are too involved with each other and Jessica seems to be rummaging around in her bag for something. I continue watching on as she pulls out a small wrapped box and hands it to Angela.

"Happy birthday, Angie! This is from all of us."

We all watch as Angela rips into the paper and opens the box. She pulls out a mug, reads it, and then throws her head back laughing. She turns it around so our side of the table can read it.

' _Caution, interruption of my coffee break may result in violence.'_

I feel slightly embarrassed that I didn't know this is a birthday dinner and I would have got her something had I known. I mouth "sorry" to Angela when I catch her eye. She shakes her head at me and slides her drink across the table, clinking it gently against mine.

"Cheers," she says casually.

"Happy birthday," I reply.

She's about to pull her drink back towards her when Sam holds his drink up.

"Cheers!" he calls out and offers up his drink for everyone to clink with.

We all clink glasses amongst a mix of "Cheers." And "Happy birthday!"

When I clink glasses with Edward our eyes meet. He smiles at me and I smile back. Our gaze continues until I look down and take a sip of my drink.

Conversation turns to dinner and everyone takes turns looking at the two large menus that are on the table. When it's my turn, I hold it up and look over it intensely. I can't decide if I'm hungry enough for a large main meal, or if maybe I should just stick to a couple of sides.

"Their loaded fries are amazing." Edwards deep voice reverberates behind my ear, eliciting an involuntary shiver from me. His arm touches mine as he points at the fries on the menu.

I hate my body for reacting the way it does around him and I do my best not to let it show. I nod and hum nonchalantly and agree that they do sound yum. After a waitress takes our food order I decide to head up to the bar and order more drinks. Once Sam and Edward have slid out of the booth, I lay my jacket on the seat and exit.

"I'll come with," Edward offers.

It doesn't take long for us to get to the front of the small line and order our drinks. Once he's finished ordering for him and Sam, Edward slides closer to me.

"You okay?" he yells above the music, which seems to have gotten louder.

I glance at him and smile, hoping it doesn't look as forced as it is.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I nod, and look over to watch the barman.

"Okay, just looks like you don't want to be here," he pushes.

I hold my breath and sort through my internal thoughts. There is so much to say here, but I'm stranded an hour away from home, with people I have barely tolerated over the past few years. I want to say what's really on my mind, but in the same instance, I don't want to cause a scene.

"This was all just … very last minute. Angela only invited me this afternoon, so I'm a bit overwhelmed is all." I instantly start to wonder if maybe I've given up too much information.

"Right … Well, I'm glad you came."

I'm rendered speechless. I don't know how to reply to that, and I'm saved from having to because the barman has finished all our drinks. Edward helps by taking my glass as well as his and Sam's.

I follow him back through the small crowd and to our table. Watching his ass move and admiring his broad shoulders the whole way, stopping only when we are at the table. I look past Edward and see Sam is watching me. He gives me a knowing smile as he stands to let us into the booth and I look away, feeling blushed.

I quickly hand the others their drinks and am surprised when Jessica gives me a shy smile and says thanks. Edward and I get back into our seats and conversation seemingly picks up from before we interrupted them.

"They look too much alike," Jessica quips, before taking a sip of her drink.

"Maybe they're just second cousins. That's allowed, you know," Eric adds.

"We're trying to work out if the band are dating or if they're related," Angela informs us.

I sit up eagerly and turn to watch the band too. "That's what I was trying to work out earlier!" I say excitedly.

I can feel Edward watching me and I look over to see him smiling at me widely. He shifts a little and breaks eye contact, turning to see what we're all looking at.

"I say they're a couple," Edward states.

"If they are then that's super gross, because they almost look like twins," Jessica says with disgust.

"Yeah, they must be related," Angela agrees.

"I agree with Edward, I reckon they're a couple," I add without thinking.

When dinner arrives, conversation slows down, but we all seem to be very invested in the relationship of the two band members and we each take it in turns gawking at them.

"I knew it!" Eric calls out excitedly, and we all follow his gaze to see the band members, who have now finished their set, kissing.

"Ha, yes!" Edward calls out excitedly. He grabs my hand and raises it up with his. "Winners!"

Our fingers have intertwined a bit and they slip through each other slowly, as he brings our hands down, letting go completely once they reach the table. I'm a little too stunned to do more than laugh at his excitement.

"Maybe they _are_ kissing cousins," Angela jokes.

After dinner, Sam and Jessica go to grab another round of drinks. It's during this time that I realise I haven't heard my phone ring with Jacob's call and I pull it from my bag to check it, only to see that it's gone flat.

"What's up?"

I look up to Angela and shake my head. "Nothing. My phone's flat. Do you know what time it is?"

"It's just gone eight o'clock," Edward answers from beside me.

"Wow! Okay! That went fast!"

"Time goes quick when you're having fun," Eric quips, holding up the last of his drink in salute before finishing it off.

Eric still creeps me out and I find myself wondering once again why Angela is even with him. They're polar opposites.

"Sorry, Angela, but I have to get home soon. I've got work tomorrow."

"No!" Eric whines and holds Angela's hand up to his lips. "Stay longer. Please, baby?" he grovels.

I swallow back the vomit that's desperate to escape.

"I'll take Bella home," Edward says, using his old nickname for me.

"Really?" Angela asks and looks at me hopefully. "Is that okay?"

I look to Edward questioningly. Is he really willing to leave early just to take me home? He nods, clearly reading my expression.

"Um, yeah, okay that's fine. Thank you. You really don't have to."

He shrugs. "I have stuff to do tomorrow, so I wasn't planning a late one anyway, that's why Sam drove in too."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Ready to go now?"

I nod and we both place some money on the table before shuffling out of the booth. I am just getting my jacket on when Jessica and Sam arrive with drinks.

"You going already?" Sam asks as he puts the drinks on the table.

"Yeah, sorry, I've got work in the morning."

"You too?" Sam looks at Edward with a smirk.

"Yeah, I'm, uh, I've got my thing, so I'm going to drop Bella off. Sorry about the drinks." He points to the glasses Sam has just put on the table.

Sam nods with a knowing smile. "Cool, man. Well, I'll see ya later. Bye, Iz."

"Bye, Izzy," Jessica says rather quietly, that I only just hear her over the music.

"Bye." I look around the whole table and give a small wave. I shift a little on the spot before feeling Edward's hand on my back.

"Ready?" he asks as I look up at him. I smile, nod, and allow him to guide me out through the crowd to the front doors.

The wind chill outside makes my body involuntarily jerk with a shiver. I hug my jacket to me and let out a little squeal.

"So much for summer, eh?" Edward jokes.

Edward pushes the button on his car key and I see his Volvo's lights flicker. I can't wait to sit in the warmth of his car, but as soon as I'm in it and the engine has started, my eagerness turns in to a ball of nervousness.

 **NB: There is no beta for this story, so all mistakes are mine. I apologise.**

 **I want to thank everyone for all the faves and reviews. I truly appreciate them and I'm sorry if I haven't gotten around to everyone. I run my own business and am a mother to two. Life is hectic!**

 **For some reason the chapters are getting longer and longer. I hope everyone's okay with that? We're probably about half way through the storyline now. If you want an idea of where the story is going (and to not be blindsided at the end) look up the lyrics for Candlebox's song Far Behind, as that is the prompt this story is based around.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter VII: Moving Forward**

Apart from the whir of the heater, and the rev of the engine as he accelerates, the car is silent. The lights of the city become less frequent as we drive, silently, into the countryside. I shift in my seat and look out the side window, but, apart from the random lit up house, everything is pitch black.

I glance over to see Edward clench his jaw, a look of intense concentration on his face. I face forward again and chuckle.

"Well, this is awkward," I blurt out.

Edward gives a laugh and I catch him glancing over at me with an amused smile.

"Yep," he agrees. "I'm guessing Angela didn't tell you I was coming tonight?"

I shake my head. "Nup."

It was a pretty shitty move on her part, but I can see she was just trying to get the old crew together for her birthday. Still, I'm a little prickly at her for forcing it upon me.

"I'm glad you came, though," he says again.

"Me too," I reply softly.

It's silent for a moment as we both seemingly take in this joint admission.

"Are you excited for SU?" he breaks the lull in conversation.

"Yeah, a bit nervous, too. What about you."

"Same." He falls quiet again, seeming to fall deep into thought. "I'm just worried about Dad, you know?"

I peek over at him and my heart hurts at the sad expression on his face. "I can understand that."

I let the car fall silent for a bit, and then remember a question I've wanted to ask for a while now.

"Hey, so what are you doing at SU? You didn't tell me. Are you still doing baseball?"

"I've signed up to play for the Redhawks, yeah. I'll be majoring in medical science."

"You want to be a doctor like your dad?"

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I haven't decided yet, but I know I want to do something in that field. I want to make him proud of me."

"I get that," I nod in understanding. Everything I do is for my mother. More than anything I want her to look down and be proud of the person I've become.

I feel Edward glance at me and I look over to see pain in his eyes.

"What's it like?" he asks softly.

"What?" I ask, intrigued.

"Watching a parent die?"

My heart slams into my chest wall, and I lean my head back into the seat, clenching my eyes shut, to stop any tears from spilling over.

"Edward …"

"Sorry. I'm sorry. Fuck, I just … you're the only person I know that's been through it." He sounds frustrated.

I open my eyes and look over to see him wiping at his.

"My dad's going to die, Bella. And the worse thing is, we have to watch him lose his identity before then. He's already starting to forget who I am. Do you have any idea what that's like? Seeing your own father forget that you're his son?"

My heart aches for him and I wipe at my eyes to stop the tears that are welling up from spilling over.

"My advice? Cherish every moment you have left," I whisper.

There's another lull in conversation and I turn the radio on to fill the space. We drive like this for some time.

When he pulls up in front of my house and turns down the radio, I take my seatbelt off and turn to thank him, when he speaks first.

"I'm sorry."

I'm confused, because this isn't a sorry for the recent conversation, this is a different sorry. A deeper apology, coming from somewhere else, for something else entirely and I'm not sure what that thing is.

"We lost you, Bella. And … you know, I couldn't work it out. I mean, I fucking did you wrong, I get that. But you were distant and I couldn't get to you. You were so distant …" He sighs and drums his fingers on the steering wheel nervously. "It was a shit time to do it – break up with you, I mean. I didn't know your mom had passed." He turns in his seat and looks me dead in the eye. "I get it now. Why you were so distant. Why nothing we did brought you back from the brink of whatever dark hole you had slipped into. But I know now, the grief you were feeling. That … fucking agony."

"Yeah, that hurt, all of it," I mumble mindlessly. "And then Jessica?"

He huffs and shakes his head. "That was my childish way of trying to forget you. When I found out about your mom, I broke up with her. Not that that makes things better." He shakes his head again and looks down, lost in thought.

"And the way you guys were to Jacob." I can't help myself from pointing out every fucked-up mistake he's made over the past few years. I don't want him thinking he can get away with a simple apology, as childish as that sounds.

Edward pinches the bridge of his nose and clenches his eyes closed.

"Again, childish on my part," he explains, but he doesn't elaborate and it makes me a little mad.

"Why?" I push.

He opens his eyes and holds my gaze. He gives me a lopsided grin. "I was jealous of him," he admits.

"But …" I am confused. It was obvious to any passer-by that Jacob is gay. It was the flamboyant clothes he wore that they were all picking on when he first came to school. Which stopped quickly, mind you, when they found out he was Sam's cousin, but that doesn't excuse them from having done it in the first place.

"I was jealous because he brought the spark back out of you that I couldn't."

My confusion deepens.

"After your mom … you were so unreachable. You wouldn't even look at me. I couldn't even engage you enough to approach you and apologise. It _scared_ me. There were days that I thought for sure you were going to slip so far down into the darkness that you were going to take your own life. There were days when I thought for certain that I wouldn't see you again. I felt so fucking helpless."

I'm so shocked by his admission that I sit back and look out my side window. Those days seem like such a blur now, but there are certain things that I will always remember. A tragedy like that always leave a scar on your soul.

"I did think about it," I whisper.

I hear him catch his breath and I turn back to him.

"It's funny how I remember that time differently. I guess that was my brain trying to cope with everything. It was easier for me to just see you all as the enemy and shut you out," I admit.

"Yeah it sucked, but you were in pain. And, I get that now."

I don't know what's come over me, but I have a sudden urge to hug him and I allow it to take over. He returns it, putting his arms under mine, and pulling me into him harder. I feel him breathe in deeply, and then let it out in a long sigh. It's not a sensual hug by any means. It goes deeper than that. It's two broken people finally finding a level ground of understanding.

I pull away slowly and wince at him, because I still have one question burning inside me. I don't want to mess up the ground we've just made up, but in the same instance, I need to know the answer to this to move forward. "One more thing."

"Shoot." He smirks at my discomfort.

"Brittany?"

"Who?" he looks genuinely confused.

"At the party last week?"

His eyes widen in surprise. "You heard about that?"

"I kind of saw it, with my own eyes." I cringe as I watch his face flush with embarrassment.

"Oh shit! I thought you had left." He runs a hand through his hair rather frantically. "Shit, okay, so no word of a lie, this is what happened …" He stops for a moment and seems to take a nervous breath in and, releases it in a rush through his lips. "Oh, man, I'm really going to do this … okay. So, after the fight, I managed to get Mike outside. When I came back in to get you, you were gone! I was really fucking down and out that you just kind of left. So, I, er, I put down about four shots and got ridiculously drunk very, very quickly." He searches my eyes to make sure I understand how serious he's being. "Really drunk. I've never been that drunk before." I nod in understanding, so he'll move on with the story. "So, basically, that Brittany girl kind of approached me I guess, and from what I've heard, I kinda got down and nasty with her." He cringes and runs his hand through his hair again.

"You licked her face."

He looks at me wide eyed. I nod to confirm that's exactly what I saw. "No!" He throws his head back and chuckles. He looks back at me with a smile. "I spewed on her, too, apparently." He bites his lip to hold in a laugh.

A snicker escapes me and it's enough to make him come undone. He lets out a laugh and he covers his mouth like a giggling girl. "I saw her the next day and she yelled at me for ruining her dress."

Our hysterical laughter fills the car and it takes a while for us to calm down. When we do, he leans his head onto the seat and watches me with admiration.

"I've missed this," he admits with a smile.

"Me too," I beam back.

It feels good to really laugh, I just never thought I'd be doing it with Edward. I glance back at my house and notice that there's a light on. I know for a fact that dad will be waiting up for me.

"I better go." I pick my bag up from the footwell and look back to Edward with a smile. I lean over quickly and give him a peck on the cheek. "Thanks for the ride."

"Any time," he replies, giving me a dimpled smile.

I move to open the car door when he calls my name.

"Bella?"

I turn to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Can I call you tomorrow some time?"

"Sure." It seems weird that he'd ask, but I guess he's still unsure on if we're moving forward or not.

"Cool. Goodnight, Bella." I still feel a strange nervousness when he calls me by that name.

"Night, Edward."

I unlock my front door and open it, before turning back around to wave at him, knowing he is waiting for me to get inside safely. When I close the door and lock it, I hear him put the car into gear and take off.

I lean against the door for a moment and let all the nervous and happy feelings take over me, before taking myself up to bed.

 **NB: Thanks again for the reads, faves and reviews. Seems these guys are ready to move forward with the story faster than I am. I reckon there's only one or two chapters left. I then have an outtake or two from EPOV. If you'd like a snippet of an outtake, just let me know in your review.**

 **Again, no editing done, except for my own. So, apologies for misspellings and grammatical errors. Also, I'm an Aussie trying to write a story set in America. It gets confusing sometimes with word differences etc. Thanks for your understanding.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter VIII: A Piece of Humble Pie**

In the morning I am woken by a streak of sunlight hitting my face and I jump out of bed in a panic. I haven't heard my alarm, and I think I forgot to turn my phone back on last night, after putting it on charge.

I grab my phone and see that the screen is black. I hit the power button and then run downstairs to check the time on the clock on the wall in the kitchen. I sigh in relief when I see it's only ten past eight. It only gives me twenty minutes to get ready, but at least I'm not late.

I race back upstairs and shower quickly, before throwing on my work pants and a nice top. I grab my bag, phone and keys and head out to my car.

Despite getting stuck behind a logging truck for half the way into work, I manage to get in there on time and listen to the store's voicemail while I set about opening the shop. There's only one message from one of our suppliers, apologising for one of our usual products not being available and that they've put it on back-order.

Apart from an elderly gentleman buying a pre-made bouquet for his wife's birthday, the first two hours are dead quiet. I feel thankful I'm finishing at lunch time today. I try to keep busy by looking over the coming week's orders and seeing if there's anything I need to order in specifically, but that comes to a dead end.

I hear footsteps at the front of the shop and look up, ready to pounce on the first customer I've had in what feels like forever, but it's not a customer.

"Dad!" Dad is in his police uniform, holding a tray with two coffees and another wrapped in bakery paper.

"Hey," he greets, taking in all the buckets of blooms and foliage around him. He stops for a moment and admires a bucket of freesias, mom's favourite.

I move out from behind the counter and motion to the trays in his hand before taking the coffee one from him. "What are you doing here? Slow day for you, too?"

He smiles at me and sighs. "Wish I could say it was. I've just finished."

I motion for him to sit with me at the small table we have in the corner, where we usually sit with clients to discuss large orders. I move the photo books off it and sit the tray down.

Dad takes a seat and grabs one of the coffee cups, before opening the bakery bag. "Bought you some apple pie."

He reveals two generous sizes of apple pie. I probably won't be able to finish mine, but you bet I'll give it my best shot. I excitedly head to the back office and grab two clean utensils. When I come back out to hand one to dad, he looks deep in thought.

"Everything alright?" I ask, concerned.

He seems to snap out of his thoughts and he grimaces at me before taking a sip of his coffee.

"There was an animal attack this morning. Got two trekkers on their way to Seattle. I don't think one of them is gonna make it."

"Oh, wow. Sorry, Dad." I always wondered how emergency services did their job. I could never do what my dad does. He sees people at the absolute worst.

"Hmmm," he mumbles. "Things have changed without Doctor Cullen here."

"Haven't they filled his position yet?"

"They got a doctor in … Doctor Felix I think his name is. But he ain't got that specialised training that Doctor Cullen had. Or the same bedside manner, either."

I nod in understanding. I remember ending up in the emergency room when I was clipped by a car in the school parking lot. Edward had actually been the first one to run to my aid, but then he went straight back to not talking to me again the day after. Doctor Cullen had been amazing, making sure my stubborn ass stayed in hospital until the threat of complications of concussion had passed. With the help of Jacob, I might add.

"Speaking of Cullens, was that Edward Cullen that dropped you off last night?"

I nearly spit out the coffee that has only made it half way down the hatch.

"Mmhmm," I mumble, with a nod. "Angela wanted to stay, so he offered to drive me home."

"That's nice of him," he says, after some consideration.

I shrug, trying to seem nonchalant. "I guess."

"He's a good boy, that Edward."

 _If only you knew, Dad_. I want to say, but I don't. "Yeah?" I ask instead. Feeling that familiar heat inside me at the mention of his name. It blends with years of hatred and my body flushes with the mix of emotions.

"Well, he always looked out for you … well, for a while, before Jacob came along. How is Jacob? Have you heard from him?" He adds.

My mind is a spinning top. I don't understand what dad is saying. Edward never looked out for me. In fact, he couldn't have been a bigger asshole if he tried. "Yes. Jacob's fine – Dad, what do you mean Edward looked out for me?" I can feel it coming, but I can't stop myself. Hatred wins. I purge everything. "He ditched me when mom died. And he did it by text message!" I yell. "Then he moved on with _Jessica_ , my so-called _best friend_ , and did everything possible to hurt me!" Realising that I have moved to the edge of my seat in my sudden fury, I take a deep breath and shuffle back into it.

Dad considers me for a moment, his brows furrowed in confusion. "I didn't know all that."

Seeing that I have changed his mind about Edward, I relax and take another sip of my drink.

Dad continues watching me with consternation. "Do you remember your bad days, Iz? Those really bad days, when I couldn't even get you to go to school? Before we finally started counselling?"

How could anyone forget that kind of agony, of course I remember! I want to scream out. But the memories make my throat dry. So, I nod instead.

"Edward used to ring our house nearly every day. He'd always ask me how you were and when you'd be back at school. He was afraid for you. Hell, we both were! Now, I'm not saying he didn't do all those things to you, but he certainly didn't come across to me as someone who doesn't care about you."

For some reason, it's harder to breathe than it normally is. I take a raspy breath in and look round quickly, before looking back at Dad. "Why didn't I know this? Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I ask, accusingly.

"Because I'm telling you now," he states with a slight shrug. "Maybe the question you should be asking is, why didn't he tell you? Do you think, that perhaps," he puts a hand out in a 'please remain calm' manner, "perhaps he felt like he couldn't tell you?"

I feel a sudden rush of frustration.

"Dad! …" I peter off, not knowing what to say.

He leans forward on the table and holds my gaze; his solemn eyes look deep into mine, demanding my full attention.

"No one could get through to you back then, Izzy. Not even your dear old dad. You had this … _giant_ wall around you. You were so adamant that no one could understand what you were going through. That no one had felt the pain that you were feeling. For months you refused grief counselling. You lashed out at everyone around you. You weren't … _you_." Dad has tears in his eyes at the memory and I feel my insides twist.

I'm dumfounded. I knew they were dark days, but he paints a different picture to what I remember.

"And then Jacob came along," Dad fills the silence and smiles. His eyes no longer welling with tears. "I don't know what it was about him, but he brought you back to life. I suppose he is a bit of a character," he chuckles, and then finishes off his coffee.

"Boy is he ever!" I agree with a smile. I think about him for a moment and remember that I must check my phone later to see if he called.

"Well, anyway, I came in to tell you, Sue and I are heading out tonight, so you'll have to fix yourself up something for dinner," he says breezily, as if we didn't just share a serious moment together. Typical dad.

I nod with a smile and finish my drink. "Date night, eh?"

"Yeah," he sighs heavily. "Got to keep her interested in this old fool somehow," he jokes.

"Naw, you're a catch, dad."

"Ha!" he laughs as he gets up from his seat and pushes it in. "There's curry leftovers in the fridge if you want it." He leans over to grab his piece of pie, and I look down to realise we've both only had one bite.

I put mine back in its bag, telling him I'll save it for dessert. He gives me a quick hug goodbye, and then leaves me with an overwhelming amount of thoughts and emotions.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter IX: Frank Conversations Part I**

I spend the next half an hour warring with my thoughts. Was I really that blindsided to not see that Edward was reaching out to me? And what about the others? Jessica?

 _Well, of course she was a bitch and will always be a bitch._ I decide with conviction.

Angela?

A thought comes to me, and I reach into my bag to grab my phone. There's a notification about two voicemail messages, which I guess are from Jacob who probably tried calling frantically last night while my phone was dead. I write a mental note to call him back later and look up Angela's number.

She picks up on the second ring and she sounds puffed.

"Hey, it's me, Iz," I explain.

"I know, it came up on the screen," she jokes.

"Ha! Of course," I slap my forehead. "Hey, I was wondering if you were busy tonight, maybe you'd like to come around?"

"I'd love to, but I've got my birthday dinner with the family tonight."

"Oh, okay," I mumble, suddenly feeling stupid for having called.

"But I'm not doing anything for lunch if you want to catch up?" she suggests.

"Actually, that would be better. I finish work in half an hour if you want to meet here and we'll walk to the diner or the café."

"Um, the café might be better, less of a chance of people we don't want eavesdropping being there."

I feel like a deer in headlights. Does she know what my mission is? Is she some kind of psychic? "Huh?" I ask, doing my best to sound confused.

She chuckles. "I assume you want to grill me for dragging you out last night and not telling you that the others would be there or that it was for my birthday? Which was really shitty, and I'm sorry, but I had my reasons."

"Oh, um, yeah, something like that." To be honest, I'd almost completely forgotten about that.

"Okay, I'll see you in half an hour for my punishment."

With that, she clicks off.

I decide to put together a small posy of pink and orange flowers before putting everything back in the fridge and sweeping the floor. I have just closed and locked the front doors when Angela's car pulls up.

She gives me a mischievous grin, like a child who knows it's done something naughty. Which changes to a look of surprise when I hand her the flowers.

"Happy birthday for yesterday."

"It's today, actually," she replies, before taking the flowers and putting them up to her nose. "I've never received flowers before. Izzy! These are beautiful!" She pulls me into a hug and pat her back gently.

I can't contain my smile. It feels good to make someone feel that good. We begin to walk to the café and she's already apologising profusely and spewing excuses for last night.

"I've missed you, Iz. And I know that Jacob's not here anymore. You can't sit at home all day."

"I don't," I intervene. A little pissed that she'd be so presumptuous.

She's sickeningly happy and not afraid to challenge me, a big goofy smile on her face. She stops and turns to me with a hand on her hip. "So, what were you doing before you came to the shelter yesterday?" she asks, knowingly.

I shake my head at her. "I was at home – b"

"HA!" she calls out in triumph.

" _Because_ , I had laundry to do," I point out emphatically.

"Whatever," she flicks me off with a huff, and then opens the door to the café.

She holds it open for me and I thank her. We find a booth in the far back corner where, thankfully, the tables around it, are empty. We order a milkshake each and one of their gourmet sandwiches.

"I truly am sorry," Angela starts our conversation anew.

Her eyes are full of remorse, but then there's something else too. Sympathy. I want to be angry. I don't want people feeling sorry for me and inviting me somewhere because they think of me as a charity case. But, I don't get that from her.

"I had fun last night," I say instead, and feel instantly good about it when I see her smile widely and shift in her seat excitedly.

"I'm so glad you did! Even though the band was incestuous," she adds jokingly.

I laugh and shake my head. "That was so funny. I could tell something was happening between them. Something in the way they looked at each other on stage."

"I didn't pick that at all!"

I don't realise how hungry I am, until lunch arrives. Conversation stops as we both scoff down our sandwiches. I am taking a sip of my milkshake and looking out the window when Angela speaks again.

"So, what is it then?"

I swallow loudly and look at her with as much of a confused look as I can muster.

She smiles at me knowingly. "Well, I've kind of figured out that you didn't bring me here to talk about last night. So, what is it?"

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. Now that the moment is here, I'm beginning to wonder what I was even thinking. I take another sip of my drink and try muster up all the courage I had not even an hour ago.

"I need a semi-outsiders view point."

"On what?" She straightens her back and leans on the table, intrigued.

"Me," I answer shortly, with a grimace.

Her brows furrow, but she waits silently.

I sigh and instinctively put my feet on my chair, bring my knees up to cover my chest; I hug them to me. I feel cocooned. I feel safe.

"Back then, after my … after my mom had died." I look up to her to see if she's following. She nods and I look back down to my knees.

"It was a really bad time in my life, and then Edward …" I peter out and garner her expression again. She's still silently waiting, engrossed in my every word. "He hurt me. A lot." I add on emphatically. "And Jessica …" I know I'm babbling, but I'm trying to find the right words. "I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I wasn't coping. I just hated everyone, especially Edward, because he … did that, you know?" I look up again and she nods in understanding. "I guess what I'm trying to ask is, what are your memories of me back then?"

Angela balks a bit and tries to compose herself. I think I've thrown her and I feel bad for, not only having done this on her birthday, but for seemingly completely blindsiding her.

"And be honest," I add.

She smiles at the last bit, knowing now that I don't want her to sugar coat things the way she usually does.

"It was hard, watching you go through that. But probably not nearly as hard as what you were going through," she adds.

"Was I a bitch to you?"

She's thoughtful for a moment and then shakes her head. "I wouldn't say you were a bitch. You were closed off. You were hardly at school, and, when you were, you didn't even look at us. I called your house once, but your dad said you were asleep. When I found out you were spending your lunch breaks in the library, I went in and tried talking to you, but you just stood up and left. You blocked us out completely. It hurt, but at the same time, I could kind of understand. I mean, if that had happened to me, I'd be a wreck."

I don't recall her approaching me in the library at all. Had my mind really blocked out all these memories?

"And Edward? Was I a bitch to him?"

She smiles at me sympathetically. "You'll have to ask him that. But you kind of had a right to be."

I give a small chuckle and take a sip of my drink, which is now just sludge.

"I know I probably shouldn't tell you this, and if you do repeat this, you didn't hear it from me. I'm only telling you because it was kind of like a bit of revenge you got on Edward without even realising it." She points at me bossily. "I caught Edward crying once because you wouldn't talk to him. Well, he said it was because you wouldn't talk to him, but I think it went a bit deeper than that."

I laugh a little, feeling good that I did get a bit of revenge, but at the same time feeling kind of bad for him. I always seem to be finding out these secrets about him in a gossipy manner. It really isn't right, but I can't help wanting to know more.

"Deeper how?"

"Please know that this isn't what I thought of you, but he admitted that he thought you were going to kill yourself. He was telling this to Sam, I just happened to be there. He said he was kind of glad Jacob was around now because now you're less likely to kill yourself. I'm paraphrasing of course," she finished quickly.

My guess is that this conversation happened around the time Sam told them to not pick on his cousin, but something else she said piques my interest.

"Why didn't you think I'd do it?"

"I don't know really," she gives it some thought. "But mostly probably because you're tough," she smiles. "Like scary tough. You've never let people phase you, and no one would dare challenge you once you've made up your mind about something. Which, now I think about it is probably … anyway, why do you think Jessica's so scared of you?" she laughs.

"Jessica's _scared_ of me?" This is news to me and I'm surprised. I put my feet back on the ground and lean on the table.

Angela nods with a mischievous grin. We're in gossip city, but I can't help it. This shit is addictive.

"She dated your boyfriend for like a whole day. She used to walk around the school as though you were gonna come up and round-house kick her at any moment. She knew that shit was wrong, and she only said yes because Mike had rejected her for like the third time."

"Wait, Edward asked _her_ out?" I kind of had an inkling that's how it went, but hearing it spoken as truth has me seeing red.

Angela rolls her eyes at me. "Don't even go thinking that that was more than just stupid teenage boy revenge. He asked me out too."

Prickly heat blows across the nape of my neck.

"I said no, of course," she adds, sensing my discomfort. "Izzy, seriously, he was a fourteen-year-old boy. A _stupid_ fourteen-year-old boy who couldn't understand why his girlfriend didn't want to hold his hand and talk about teenage drama every day. We were all selfish, really," she reflects. "We didn't truly understand how bad it was. You hear stories of people beating cancer all the time, and we – well, _I_ thought for sure that would be your mom, too. To us, it just seemed so sudden, but I bet it wasn't like that to you," she says, as a half question.

I shake my head. "We knew from the beginning it was bad, but you still hope for a miracle. It didn't seem real. Until the last week. She went downhill so fast." I quietly reflect on the memories, and my chest aches as I see my mom, once again in her bed, sleeping soundly until her last breath.

"Do you remember in fourth grade when we were at the baseball game and your mom saw Lauren, who was like in sixth, and told her that if she touched you again while at school that your dad would arrest her for assault and lock her up with all the hardened criminals?"

I laugh at the memory and then remember that Lauren got pregnant in her sophomore year and dropped out of school. "She has, what, like three kids now?" I ask. The rush of this sudden gossip addiction taking over.

"Two," Angela confirms, "but close enough." She laughs.

Angela spends another twenty minutes reminding me of some other memories she has of my mom, before telling me she must get home and spend time with her family for her birthday. I pay for her lunch as another birthday gift and find myself driving home in a really good mood.

 **NB: Okay, so I lied. There's probably another one or two chapters from this chapter (not from when I said it last time) OR it could just go on forever. Who knows. Anyway, hopefully these last two chapters have given all the Edward haters a better understanding of things. He's still a massive teenage jerk, but we all have faults, even Isabella.**

 **For those who, luckily, have never suffered grief, and are reading this story thinking WTF? Grief often causes memory loss. Not only that, it can cause PTSD, which can also affect the brain, causing more memory loss on top of other symptoms.**

 **I will go into this a little in the coming chapter, but not too deeply.**

 **Again, going with the lyrics of the song this is based on – the song is about someone who suffers depression and drug abuse, how all their friends can't get through to them and they are simply forced to stand by and watch them crumble to nothing. It is also about their regrets once the person has overdosed and left them 'far behind' but there will be no death in this story.**


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